Making Time For Your Relationship

Living in a large portion of the world, but especially in North America, you are more than likely to get caught up in the hustle culture of capitalism. What you have is never enough, there is always the looming threat that something could come along and swipe all of your earnings and savings at a moment’s notice. Your job is getting you from day to day, with the ever-looming pressure to get that end-of-year raise or replacing your job with a new opportunity that is better than your old one. More money, more problems, no time.

You may also have a wonderful partner with whom you live in a quiet little home close to work, a high-school sweetheart who you eventually married. You love your two kids, who of course have their own needs around the house. You love them very much and they mean the world to you. You would do anything for them.

So, your typical day begins. You and your partner wake up early in the morning to drive to work with an hour of commute time. Between sending the kids to school, packing lunches for everyone, getting yourselves ready and juggling the bathroom time appropriately, it feels like you’re barely seeing anyone. You get in your car, drive an hour in traffic to work, spend an exhausting day in meetings while loaded down with too much work, only to drive another two hours back home because several accidents on the roads caused large slowdowns, and then arrive back home. Your partner isn’t there yet, and you thank your mother for taking care of the kids for the couple of hours between the end of school and getting home, sending her on her way. You start dinner while doing the laundry, rushing to clean up the mess your youngest created in the living room while you were busy. Your partner finally arrives home to ask what’s burning, and suddenly dinner is ruined because you got distracted. Frustrations rise, tensions boil over, and another day comes to a close talking about how things don’t feel the same and all you’re doing is cleaning, cooking, working, and worrying that there just aren’t enough hours in the day to get things done.

This is the life that many people live in this modern world. Packing their minutes so tightly that it feels like they never see each other. Indeed, they might as well not be: couples barely talk to each other anymore unless it has to do with what needs to be done or what didn’t get done that day. Couples who fell in love with each other when responsibility didn’t consume their lives suddenly find themselves not having much to talk about.

In a world of hustle and bustle, it can be very easy to lose track of your partner. It may feel like there is always something else getting in the way of spending time together, but spending time together is worth making time for. Spending time with friends, grandparents, the kids…oh, and we haven’t seen Auntie Helen in years! Maybe we should make time to go see her…

Yes, yes. Those things are important, but what I’m REALLY talking about is spending time with your PARTNER. Yes, your partner. The one you fell in love with in high-school and have barely talked to for the last six years because things were just simply “too busy”. When was the last time you cuddled on the couch? Looked into each other’s eyes? Simply took a moment to be present with them and tell them you love them?

Better yet, when was the last time you had a date? Do you remember those times when you would go out together on walks, or take a visit to the beach, or spend some time at the amusement park? Maybe those things aren’t your cup of tea and there were other things you enjoyed doing, but the point still stands: it’s probably well past due to revisit your quality time with your partner.

There is always an opportunity for quality time if you want it badly enough. Everything can be accommodated for given the right tools, preparation, and dedication. The most important thing? Stick to it! When you set a date, don’t push it back because something else is getting in the way. Remember, this is exactly the problem you are trying to solve. You must dedicate some time together that is outside of your busy schedule. Even planning this time together can be a nice way to spend time with your partner. Bouncing ideas off of each other, talking, laughing, joking…it all comes together to be part of the experience.

Obviously, sometimes there will actually be times when life will actually leave you with very little time, and busy takes over completely. Just remember: even in these moments, there is always time for an “I love you”, a “thank you”, or a “you look really nice today”. Make your partner an important part of your day, and infuse your day with small little pieces and tidbits throughout that are meant only for them. Even a short text while you’re on break at work can go a long way.

Your partner is worth making time for. The two of you form the backbone of your family unit, and it is very important to ensure that backbone continues its relationship. If the two of you are happier, you will likely see the resulting ripple effect through the people around you too. It means less stress and a more cohesive team among your family. And despite having similar amounts of work to do, it will feel like you have less as a result.

That certainly sounds appealing, doesn’t it?