The Fear Of Commitment
It’s spooky season! Today is the scariest day of the year, and while you’ll likely be scared more than once today, it certainly won’t be the last time you will be scared this year. Although, the next time you are scared won’t be because of fangs and teeth, swords and daggers, or ghosts and goblins. No, the next time it will likely happen when you’re making the choice on what to wear this year for Halloween, figuring out what food to make, or determining your career path.
If you find that you are regularly unable to make decisions because you are afraid of choosing the wrong one, chances are you have a fear of commitment. The inability to determine what dinner is going to be tonight or what you will be for Halloween this year are just minor examples of a greater problem that tends to manifest itself in everything you do. How about your outfit for that get together later? What about choosing a show you’d like to watch in your downtime? With every choice comes more indecision and the greater chance that you won’t make one and defer to someone else to make the decision for you.
This habit of deferring decisions can lead to a whole bunch of commitment problems in the long-term life events, and specifically, it can seriously affect your confidence at work. I spoke a bit about imposter syndrome, which is one large way that a lack of confidence can affect you in the workplace: never feeling good enough, always feeling as though your skills are inferior to others, and a general disregard for your own ability no matter how much praise you receive. When you constantly allow others to make your decisions, the habit allows you to lose stock in your own opinion and eventually, your ability and skill, slowly but surely. This can lead to imposter syndrome and feeling as though you cannot commit to a line of work because you believe that there is no way you would ever get far enough with the limited skills and knowledge you believe you have.
Commitment issues start with the little things in life, right down to the smallest level. If you want to work on feeling more confident in yourself and your work, start small by being assertive with what you want. If someone asks you what you want for dinner, give them an answer instead of just going with what they want automatically. You certainly won’t get what you asked for all the time, but you made your opinion known and you stuck to it, letting people know that you do, in fact, have a preference. Over time, you will graduate to bigger decisions as your confidence grows, and suddenly you will find that you are much more confident in what you do at work. Start giving your opinions in the workplace as well, again starting small and growing bigger as your confidence grows. If you provide your opinion politely and at appropriate times, you will start to find that people come to respect your opinion and might come to you for advice. This can only mean good things for you moving up in the workplace!
Eventually, with enough practice, you will start to feel as though you belong in your workplace and committing to it will feel much less daunting than it did before. Having confidence can mean the difference between hating and loving your work, and it can have a major impact on your whole life. Just remember, the goal is to commit to something that you are enjoying, and it is perfectly okay to come away with the knowledge that something just isn’t right for you after giving it a good solid try.
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